Things You Shouldn't Expect From Your Wedding Planner
Oct 25, 2018 | By: Kiss the Planner, Inc.
Things You Shouldn't Expect Your Wedding Planner to Do For You
Yes, your wedding planner is definitely your go-to-gal or go-to-guy! We are here for you every step of the way. They are your wedding planner, your confidant and your friend! But it's a common misconception that your planner was hired to do everything. And if you are confused as to what your wedding planner does do or doesn't do, it's a good idea to ask your wedding planner for clarification. If the wedding planning proposal is not written accurately, it is very easy to misunderstand what a planner is and is not responsible for.
Here are a few things you shouldn't expect your planner to do for you and an explanation of why this isn't really your wedding planner's responsibility.
Keeping your guests from drinking.
No planner wants to see a guest drink to the point that they get sick, harm themselves or drive away drunk. But at the same time, asking your wedding planner to take a drink out of someone's hands or control what that guest will do or not do over the course of the night is both impossible and unfair. A planner has multiple responsibilities and a series of things that they handle throughout the getting ready part of the day, the ceremony portion and the reception, and playing cop doesn't give them adequate time or energy to handle those responsibilities. Make sure the venue has security to handle such issues or hire someone from the outside, so your planner won't have to deal with confrontation from potentially belligerent guests.
Your planner may adore kids but that doesn't mean you should leave that task to the wedding coordinators on site. They need to remain focused on running the show and making sure all goes smoothly. Consider providing a babysitting service for the guests who bring kids or task a reliable adult or teen to keep an eye on the kids. Coloring books, stickers and puzzles are a great way to keep little hands busy and can be placed at each placesetting to amuse the kids as needed.
Choosing your officiant and the outline for your ceremony.
This decision is so personal, that you shouldn't leave this up to your planner. It's certainly appropriate to ask your wedding planner for two or three recommendations, but you will need to meet with them yourselves and see how your personalities mesh with each other. What rubs you the wrong way, may not bother your planner at all, and vice versa. You may want a bubbly personality leading your ceremony, but your planner may prefer someone more reserved and and serious. This decision is 100% about you.
Choosing the wedding party couture.
Just like choosing an officiant, choosing the wedding party couture is a very personal choice and up to you and those in the spotlight to make. Asking for recommendations from your wedding planner is a great idea, but deciding what to pick should be all up to you and them.
Choosing the music for your ceremony, first dance, and other key moments.
You may not be keen on your wedding planner's favorite tunes, so don't leave this up to them. Nobody knows your friends and families better than you do, so keep that in mind when making your selections and don't expect your planner to do the picking. Pick your songs and then trust your DJ to read the crowd to keep your guests on the dance floor.
Deciding what is in and what is out.
When it comes to making decisions and placing orders, it is a 3-step process. First, your wedding planner will present you with the options, next is choosing what you want, and the final phase of the process is placing the order, while making any necessary revisions. Your wedding planner can present you with the options and place the orders, but still needs your guidance along the way to make the choices that suit you best.
Determining the seating assignments.
Unfortunately, this is something that a wedding planner just can't do for you. Your planner doesn't know the politics and dynamics of your group and so you would be the one who would determine who sits with who. The scope of the planner's involvement is limited to checking on their client to be sure these tasks get done.
Don't ask your wedding planner to get in the middle of an argument between any two parties.
If bridesmaids are at each other's throats or your mother-in-law becomes a mother-in-law-zilla on you, don't expect you planner to be the mediator. It would be unfair to put them in a compromising position. While it is absolutely the planner's responsibility to be respectful and sensitive to any issues between the parties, it is unfair to position them in the middle or expect them to solve any personal problems that you or those parties are going through.
Taking care of tasks that the wedding planner wasn't paid to do.
This goes back to the proposal. If you hired a planner for partial planning, don't expect them to do full service planning. When you are in the process of determining if you will hire that planner or not, make sure you understand everything on the planner's proposal so that you don't have an expectation of performance that is different from what that planner proposed and charged you for. If a planner does tasks that were not included in his or her proposal, it is only fair that the planner be compensated for their valuable time.
As a wedding planner I do my very best to be my client's confidant, lifesaver and go-to-girl. This sometimes includes tasks that I wasn't paid to do. It is my choice to do so, just as it may be the choice of another planner not to do so. Most planners are happy to honor any reasonable requests and sometimes these are things that fall outside the scope of their typical duties, but it is the right of each planner to determine how to run their business, to decide what they will and will not handle and how to charge fairly for their time.